YOU MADE ME WATCH YOU

YOU MADE ME WATCH YOU
(Music by James V. Monaco, Special Lyrics By Marc Shaiman, Bruce Vilanch and Bette Midler)

YOU MADE ME WATCH YOU
I DIDN’T WANNA DO IT
JACK PARR HAD PUT ME THROUGH IT

YOU MADE ME WATCH YOU
I LOVE THE JOKES YOU’RE FLOGGIN’
WHEN YOU ARE MONOLOGUE-IN’

I WATCHED YOUR HAIR TURN SLOWLY
FROM DARK TO WHITE
AND WHEN I CAN’T SLEEP
I COUNT YOUR WIVES AT NIGHT

I’D DROP MY DRAWERS FOR
THE KIND OF BUCKS YOU’RE MAKING
FOR SIMPLE DOUBLE-TAKING

BEFORE YOU BID ADIEU
DON’T BE CHEAP
PUT DeCORDAVA TO SLEEP

JUST THE THOUGHT YOU’RE LEAVING
SURE GIVES ME THE SHIVERS
ARSENIO IS AT THE GATE
AND SO’S JOAN RIVERS!
YOU KNOW THEY MADE ME WATCH YOU!

HOW I’LL MISS THE SOCIAL INTERCOURSE SO VARIED
NOW I’LL HAVE TO HAVE IT
WITH THE GUY I MARRIED
YOU KNOW I’D RATHER WATCH YOU!!