Everything’s Coming Up Grosses

Everything’s Coming Up Grosses
(Stephen Sondheim/Special Lyrics by Marc Shaiman)

Sung to the tune of “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” (from Gypsy)
In celebration of The First Wives Club box office success

I’m in a hit
A big fucking hit, and baby

Things look swell
Things look great
I got 20% of the gate

Who’da dreamt?
I’m ferklempt
Because everything’s coming up grosses

At the top
In my prime
On the cover of People and Time

Scrape and bow when I pass
Blow some smoke
Up my ass

One hundred million ain’t so hard to do
Honey, everything’s coming up grosses for me
So fuck you!