A Bird In The Hand Lyrics

 

A Bird In The Hand

(lyrics by Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman & Bette Midler
music by Marc Shaiman)

(Harlettes):

Our mother’s a star
She’s the foulest by far
And she keeps us all under her wing

We live life on her terms
Because she brings her worms
So for two shows a day we sing (sing, sing)

Though we may like canaries
Our pay never varies
She’s cheap!
But she’s good with a joke
So we take what she gives
By this motto she lives
Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a yolk

(Bette):

Some chicks’ breasts are juicy
And some have tasty legs
Some chicks shake a tail feather
And give you scrambled eggs

Now I know that you roosters get hungry
But why dine a la carte?
When you can get it all here
From the beak to the rear
With this barnyard work of art

And a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
My chicken soup is grand
And I’m serving Kosher tush
I’ll hen peck you inside my nest
And I’ll give you a gentle push
I’m a hit with the band
I’m the lay of the land
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
Yes, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

I will never forget it you know

(Soph jokes)

Yes, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
My feathers are fanned
But there’s still fat on my tush
I’ll serve it over easy
And I’ll take off with a whoosh

I’m a hit with the band
I’m the lay of the land

A bird in the hand
A bird in the hand
A bird in the hand
Is worth two in the bush

Ee eye ee eye oh

(Looney Tunes instrumental)